You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
