I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
