I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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