Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
