Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
