My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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