you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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