I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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