One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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