It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
