I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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