my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
