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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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