In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So vagazzling was a success
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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