at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
