naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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