There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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