You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize