We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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