i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
