I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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