there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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