I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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