Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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