She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
