So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
