you guys were way drunker than both of me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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