We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
