I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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