i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
