did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think my moral compass just broke
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