Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
