wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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