We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
