at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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