i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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