Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize