Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
