is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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