What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
