Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
