this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
