i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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