we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
