the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize