yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
