I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hell yes lets make some ravioli
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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