waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
