can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i was born a porn star she said
My balls are so social today.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
