i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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