Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
