***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
