I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
