So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
