Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
