I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
