i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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