I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
