thus making me awesome and them whores
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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