I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
