I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
