$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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