i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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