Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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