fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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