No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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