dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
