Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
