I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
