the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We were destined to go to rehab together
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
