tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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