Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
